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Building Personal Relationships
- Never criticize, condemn or complain:
- People very rarely criticize themselves, no matter how wrong they may be. Your criticism will not be welcome.
"I will speak ill of no man, and speak all the good I know of everybody.” – Ben Franklin
- Criticism puts others on the defensive, hurts self-esteem and builds resentment. Criticism is futile.
- Positive Reinforcement works better. Example: Reprimanding soldiers for not wearing their helmets is less effective than asking if the helmets are uncomfortable and reminding them that the hats were designed for their protection.
- Become genuinely interested in other people.
- People are most interested in themselves. If you share that interest, they will respond.
- If you talk to people about themselves, they will keep listening and listening.
- Remember birthdays and other important personal details.
- Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
- Find the interests of others and talk about those things.
- Begin any conversation disscussing the other’s interests and you’ll find them to be much more open to suggestion.
- If you know nothing of their interests, try to ask intelligent questions about their interests. Perhaps ask for the story of how they developed those interests.
- Be a good listener.
- Give other's your exclusive attention.
- Urge others to talk about themselves.
- Ask pointed questions.
- By simply listening and asking questions, others will think you are a great conversationalist.
- Listen to others’ concerns/complaints, you will ease tension and build relationships.
- Be eager to hear from those who may complain about you or your those you represent, however wrong those complaints may be.
- Impress upon them how eager you are to hear them.
- Thank them for bringing up their concerns.
- Make the other person feel important.
- People yearn to feel important and appreciated.
- Continually recognizing someone’s expertise and capabilities will make them feel important. They will want to demonstrate their expertise by possibly helping you.
“I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise.” – Charles Schwab.
- Give others clear authority over a part of a larger project and help them understand their tangible contributions. They’ll become more committed to the success of the project.
- Be sincere and avoid flattery. However, obvious, over-the-top flattery can often win smiles and carry the same favor as if it were sincere.
- Use Names whenever possible.
- People love hearing thier names, it's a favorite word.
- Remember someone’s name and a few personal details.
- Smile.
- Greet others with enthusiasm and animation.
- A smile tells others that you like them and are glad to see them.
- Smile even when on the phone; the smile will be clear in the tone of your voice.
